During a given off-season, any number of teams across the NFL make questionable personnel decisions, whether it be a head-scratching coaching change or wasting valuable draft picks in a manner that makes you question the sanity of the brass making those decisions. Many times, however, we must take a wait-and-see approach during the season before we can effectively judge the competency of such moves. Well, today I say screw that.

“Somebody take the wheel!”

This was the statement that Kenny Badd heard me belt out  during this year’s NFL draft as my beloved Broncos used the 12th-overall pick to select Georgia running back Knowshon Moreno. I didn’t say this because I thought Moreno was a bad player, I said it simply because Moreno would make the seventh running back on a team with the 29th-ranked defense in the league last season. That’s incredibly frustrating as a fan.

So in order for me to really express my frustration and to help others fully understand the source of my angst, let me put the Broncos off-season in historical terms by giving you parallels between what’s going on now and how it would have looked about 25 years ago.

This post will rebuild the Broncos off-season using players and personnel from that bygone era to give you an historical perspective on how utterly ridiculous these moves actually are.

1.) You need a new coach

You have Don Shula, but he’s old news. And sure, he’s won championships, but that was years ago. You need new blood. You need to get with the “new age NFL”. You need a young, hot-shot coordinator who is ready to make the full-time jump to commanding a team.  You’ve got just the right person, an offensive genius who can take you into the 90′s with his offensive ingenuity … Bruce Coslet. Step one, fire Don Shula, hire Bruce Coslet.

2.) You need backs, lots of backs

You finished the season a disappointing 8-8, but the lone bright spot was your offense, which finished second overall in the league by averaging 395.8 ypg. Once again, your running back situation was handled by the three-headed monster of Alonzo Highsmith, Lorenzo White and Allen Pinkett, but it got the job done. Now you need to add power and versatility to an already crowded backfield. Did I mention you had the 29th-ranked defense last season?

Still, you sign the following players under the guise of improving your team:

John Settle
Herman Heard
Sammie Winder
Kelvin Bryant (*after the draft)

After these moves, you now have seven running backs under contract. You decide to cut Heard before he ever sets foot in your facility, and pay him $35,000 for what essentially amounts to a spring internship. Step two, add every running back in the league not currently under contract.

3.) Trade Dan Marino

Sure you’ve got Dan Marino, who seems to rewrite single season records every year and is still maturing as an NFL quarterback. However, Coslet is used to working with “system guys,” not talent. So after negotiations to bring in Gary Hogeboom break down, Coslet does the next best thing. He deals Marino for Jay Schroeder and two draft picks. Step three, trade Dan Marino for Jay Schroeder and 2 draft picks. Excellent (fist pump).

4.) Partake in the weirdest draft in club history

Okay, you’ve gotten past the Marino trade. The fans are approaching indifference as opposed to their feelings of pure disgust just a month ago. However, you remain optimistic because you are getting younger and now have new life in the front office. Cynics are still pointing at the fact that you dismantled the No. 2  offense in the league and haven’t contributed much to rectifying the league’s 29th-ranked defense, besides hiring Richie Pettibon as defensive coordinator and signing Kenny Easley. But you can fix all of this with the stockpile of draft choices this year, so this is what you decide to do:

In the first-round – with six backs already in tow – you select Dalton Hiliard. Then, you take next year’s first-round selection, which is sure to be the first or second selection of the draft) and trade it so you can draft Vernon Dean. And lastly, you know you’re going to a 3-4 defense next season and don’t have a defensive tackle over 310 lbs, yet neglect to draft a single player at that position. No worries, you’re good. Step four, make a complete mockery of the draft.

5.) Tell Art Monk to get his shine box

You aren’t going to deal with a prima donna wide receiver on your team, even though you’ve grossly underpaid for the production he’s given you the last three seasons. Forget all of that, you’ve got the diabolical offensive mind of Coslet, Schroeder behind center and enough running backs to win any fantasy football league. Art Monk may be your best player, but Carl Bland and  Leonard Thompson will have to do at wideout.

In summation, you fire the most successful coach in club history, bring in any and every available running back who can legibly sign their name on a piece of paper, trade your franchise quarterback for a journeyman and two draft picks, treat the draft like it owed you money and agree to trade the only remaining elite-level talent on your squad all in a span of 6 months.

Somebody, please take the wheel.